Whats the worst that could happen....

Ever find yourself saying that?

I do all the time! But the way I look at it is if you never try it how do you know its not worth the outcome.

So its day 3 of this blogging thing and I have already went back on my word. I didn't get to work out yesterday or Wednesday. I got off late both nights. I guess that is where it is my responsibility to make sure I work out either in the morning or after work. Getting motivated is the kicker.

This is a photo of me from when I started working out while I lived in Azle from 2009-2010. Before coming out to Euless and takeing a nose dive and it is my first goal to meet. Get down to 245 lbs again and then continue with attanable goals.

I was extremely happen at this point in my life. But it is time to be happy inside and out. Today's goal is an hour of cardio and 30 minutes of weight training after work. It helps me to make a goal daily instead of one that is far fetched and will only happen 23 yrs from now. So for right now its daily goals to help meet the final objective.

I am also using my fitness pal, it is an amazing website. It tracks calories and workout activity and you can get it on your smart phone. It helps me allot with meals and keeping myself in line. It is nice to look at what you've accomplished on a day to day basis.

Check it out http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

I also have made myself a little diary to keep with me when I start to feel volnurable. When I feel like giving up, I just start to write it all down, it helps allot as well.

It also helps to have a workout buddy. A friend of mine is working out with me and it helps keep me focused and on track. I also have a ton of workout dvd's just in case I can't make it to the gym I am still getting a workout. You would be suprised how much a photo of you at your biggest on the frige helps to motivate you to grab the water instead of the Coke and get to some yoga or pilates.

I don't mean to sound harsh but being over weight I have seen it and done it. You see the thin girl and want to "hate" her well I hate to break it to you but she probably busts her ass to stay in shape who are we to criticise her for doing what she needs to do to stay in shape. I always felt horrible after stairing them down and loathing them for the amazing body but truth is they worked for it just like I need to work for mine.

Each week I am going to have my "weigh in" I think seeing it in black and white will help me focus as well. I can't wait to see the changes.

It's called the move on with your life dance....

Ugh what a day. What a way to start out the day. This ones all about work today. What a drag! I hate these kinds of days. I just want to kick something. You know those kinds of days, nothing you want to work out is anywhere near the working out mark. I got some cancelled move-ins. That sorta puts a damper on my day!!!

I hate feeling like a failure. I know some people will probably think how can you feel like a failure its an apartment someone else will come along and get it. Well that is true but at the same time I have to do a ton more marketing, calls, emails, letters, and posts for the vacant units. Not to mention the other stuff going on. My favorite part about my job is the marketing and being able to do resident retention stuff. But when things like people finding a place somewhere else or not wanting to move in happen it just tugs on my heart strings.

This may not be an A+++++ apartment complex but its clean, safe, and updated in the units. Its a property with character and a story behind it. The residents are all good hard working people! I am proud to work here.

I think sometimes that may not show on my face when I have a bad day. Another thing to add to the list I suppose. I just need to work on time management. Get more out of my work day. Try to find a way to do it all, not in one day but in a week maybe. Find the problem areas and solve them quickly and efficiently. No one wants to do bad at their job, but for me its different this time. I actually care about what I do.

The first step....

So first thing is first I supposed. My name is Golden. I am 25, just turned 25 actually and for some reason the goals in my life had changed allot. When you're young you think about how you want to be rich and famous or help people or animals or be a ninja (yes a ninjas). But as you get older those things change and with me they changed day to day until I figured out that I had to be responsible. Not just for myself but for my job, my car, my finances, everything. Why don't they give you a book as soon as you shoot out of the womb that says "Hey, not so fast...you're going to screw up, read this"?

To make a long story short a few days after my birthday I reevaluated allot of things in my life. People, my job, my goals, my sanity. And none of them really made me want to grow up. I don't want to be an adult; I don't want to be responsible! But you have to be and in part of that you have to want to have a happy life. That was the kicker for me I sat back and thought wow you're a happy person and after this life reflection I realized, no dude, you're not.

So I decided when I got back from Vacation some changes were going to be made.

1. Move off property (I am an apt mgr. I lived on prop. Bad idea)
2. Love your job (After moving, I love it even more)
3. See your family (I need to see them more)
4. Love yourself (this is the hardest one)

My list wasn't a long one and that’s because most of the problem was with me. So I talked to a good friend of mine and shared some very deep and emotional feelings. The next day I ran a mile at the gym and forgot how wonderful that feeling was. So I called her up and said “dude, this is it. It is all or nothing". I have done this time and time again. Shoot I have had the membership for year and have used it probably 3 months. So I put myself a schedule together and have stuck to it.

Yesterday was the best I have felt in ages. I worked my ass off and I feel like mush today but I know it needs to be done. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to be able to play with my children and be active in their lives when that time comes not some bump on a log.

So I jumped in with both feet again, only this time the feeling is so much more. I can't shake it; I can't walk away from it. It has to be done. There are no more excuses. And to tell you the truth I can't be more scared. This is crazy; I am so excited but so afraid of the outcome. Like what if this really changes my life. How amazing would that be? How much better my attitude would be, my confidence, my dependability, my humbleness. It’s the best feeling I have had in a long time and I can't want to see the changes that I make for the better.