We fall and we get back up again

Well at least I did this weekend. When you're feeling like crap the last thing on your mind is exercise or eating right. Well this weekend I felt like hammered dog pooh! My ear was going crazy with whatever type of infection is ensuing in it now, my allergies were not being nice at all. Every time I woke up they went crazy! The allergies pills didn't help because they just made me tired and the alkazelser just tasted disgusting and didn't do much either. But I did however eat 3 times a day which I feel made a huge difference! On Saturday I did make some breakfast even though it was at like 11:46 so that was breakfast and lunch and for dinner my sister made chicken friend steak, mashed potatoes and corn. Probably not the best item for me to eat but it was amazing!

Chicken Fried Steak 17 total ww pts

The Breakfast I made Saturday 14 total ww pp

I started cooking when I woke up Saturday night and she was gone so I assumed they went out to dinner so I got an idea on how to use my left over queso and my remaining chicken cuts! I decided I was going to take them and mix them up and roll em up into a tortilla and it was an awesome idea! I took the last of my red potatoes and cut them up and cooked them on the stove and took my salsa and mixed it in with them and they were freaking awesome!!! She came home right as everything was done so I was able to save it for lunch on Sunday. I woke up and made breakfast Sunday as well and decided to eat my potatoes from the night before with it and it was soooo good. I saved the chicken for lunch and munched on that and then for dinner it was one of those Betty Crocker complete meal things.

Pizza Pasta Meal 9 ww pp

It was Pizza Pasta and we had salad and french bread to go with it. So I used 14 ww pp on breakfast again and then 4 pp for my chicken and an extra lets say 6 pp to be safe for the queso and 8 for 2 flour tortillas so 18 pp for my lunch. Which left me with 12 for dinner and that was only 9 because the salad is 0 points and the french bread was 3 pp so that hit my total 44 pp for the day! So I didn't do as bad as I thought. I didn't exercise but I will be doing that today with Jessica after work. The weight watchers really comes in handy!

Whats good about this situation ?....

Freaking everything is good about this situation!!! Holy cow how much stuff has changed since my last post in September. I think I have grown so much since then and I have tried to surround myself with positive people and it looks like it worked :) This is breakfast for me these days

Sooo the news, well its 2012 and things are shaping up, literally! I have done pretty okay so far on this Journey. I need to tweak a few items like making sure I go grocery shopping and buy enough food to last 2 weeks. I love to cook its just trying to figure out how to do it for one person and how to use the left overs is whats killing me at times, but when its something I really enjoy cooking or eating I will take it for lunch to work!

I am using a combo of Weight Watchers, working out, and trying to maybe throw some vegan style stuff in there as well.

I would like to eat a few meatless meals a week or maybe even just cut it out for as long as I can and see how I feel. I am also going to do The Vibrant Cleanse next week as well. I want to clean my body of all its toxins! It sounds harsh but I think I will feel so much better once it is done and I can replace those bad things with clean and fresh items!

I have a few awesome Friends who are dieting as well right now so I have allot of people I can turn to this time when I am feeling frustrated! Nothing by happy news on this end, well that is right now at least bwahahaha.

Courtney my go to for H.E.L.P

Jessica the Barbie to my Stacy :)

 

Kaylan my PIC!!!

One tubby-tubby, two tubby-tubby....

Today I didn't want to wake up. I went to bed about midnight and had some weird dreams, woke up a few times and smashed the snooze button as many times as possible. This is not a goal I have set for myself. So I need to work on that.
Yesterday was my first official WW meeting and I was very excited. Kim our meeting leader was super informative and she has a facebook so I can ask as many questions as I want :) She has lost 104 lbs since 2007 and has kept it off. It is nice to see someone in the flesh that has done this.
I weighed in yesterday and was at 278.4 lbs. I have discovered that when you look at yourself in the mirror you think wow I must way such and such lbs and then you weigh yourself and you're like wow that is a big number...for me yesterday I just kept thinking what got me to this point.
I used to weigh 150 lbs, then 170 and then 200 and for the longest time 220 lbs. Its sad to say that I would give anything to be at 220 again oh my god what I wouldn't do is more like it. But I have discovered that when you think like that the outcome is never positive and never lasts more than a few months.
The goals I have set for myself are small for right now so that I do not get disappointed and give up. A life change is what is needed and I have said that many, many times. Yesterday at my meeting I felt so rewarded and great. Then I went to grab dinner and went over my points. It is days like yesterday that make me want to do better. You can't have the good without the bad and you cant climb that hill without tripping or falling a few times either.
You have to make the things you want in life to happen for you. This is my moment to seize and it scares the hell out of me.

The planted seed.....

Oh what the shit! LOL I had to start it out a bit funny. Planting a new seed...allot of people talk about it many of us do not follow through but for once I can say that I did. I started ww and have stuck to it. I start my meetings today, very exciting!!!

It is almost October and that means the Holidays are underway!

Which means the first annual Halloween Costume Contest and party at Royal Terrace. It should be allot of fun. It works great because Halloween is on a Monday and the kiddos from school get to wear their costumes and pig out on candy :)

We also have the spooky door contest, which is allot of fun!!!

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I think that the things in my life are starting to make me smile, like right now...I am smiling while I am writing. I haven't done that in a long time and I bought a new journal today and I am going to get rid of the others that I have and start fresh with the writing.

Just a quick update that things are getting better.

I'm just a girl...

*sigh*

Seriously why is it that I haven't had my time?

I see all of these people around me doing their thing and wonder when it will be my turn.

It sounds a bit lame even to me but its still a question I would like an answer to. Like seriously is there something wrong with me?

Why do I only attract OLD ASS people or people I would never effing date or douchbags wtf! It is really irritating.

I don't know, it just pisses me off is all I do know.

People tell me I am smart, beautiful, funny and a great catch but they always fail to mention that underlining remark (you're a fat girl hun) that no one ever wants to admit. Its a bit defeating. Like I am not good enough for anyone. But then again who wants to be with someone who is unhealthy? I never thought I had low self esteem but lately I am thinking maybe I do just a bit.

I haven't dated anyone since August 2009 that is 2 years. Now I have been with people but that isn't something to be proud of. I want a relationship. But then I am like why have one so you can date, fall in love and then have someone rip your heart out like before? Whats the point. Everyones divorced anyway. But I don't like being alone all the time. I am not tagging along with my sister when she goes on her dates that's just fucking sad! I am sick of being a third wheel. I can't get my own date, wtf!?

And I am not dating someone I am not attracted to, I cant do it. People who do that are ridiculous because they're only doing it because they don't want to be alone or they have no self esteem at all or want sex and don't care how they get it. I want someone to be attracted to me and I want to be attracted to them. I am not going to date some crusty ass 40 something year old because he thinks I have a fat ass and because he has a fat wallet, sorry bro you're barking up the wrong tree. Dating is effing ridiculous. It is so time consuming. I don't see how people have the time to date 5 different ppl at one time and frankly its a little fucked up. Find someone give it a shot then move on. You got like 4 different flavors going on how do you know which one really gets after your taste buds you know?!

I don't know maybe I am just being an asshole, or a baby about the entire thing. Who knows? What I do know is that somethings gotta give.

Where's the Beef

So its been a week well Monday will be a week and so far 6 lbs have been lost!!!! Hells yeah. Granted its just water weight its still a visibal number that looks pretty damn good. And my moms making beef stew!!! I feel like I am getting close. I am hoping to meet my 5% goal by the end of October and my 10% goal by New Years Eve. I still need to work out. I didnt do allot that I wanted. I went to a benefit thingy and had some Michelob Ultra because theyre 0 points lol not my proudest moment but food wise I stayed in my points. I still have the rest of the day to clean my apartment, my car and give the dogs a bath. Why is it when things are cleaned you just feel good?   I love having things in their place it just feels right. Plus I need to get the rest of my stuff hung up and out of boxes. So many things in our lives go in directions we never thought they would but if we can keep track of them we can find out who we are meant to be and this unhappy lazy person I have become is not what is meant for me.

Meeting goals with no pants on....

Good title huh!? I chose that one because well I cooked in a shirt and underwear on this morning. I didn't use oil so I could do that! So that means I met one of the goals I set for myself today. I woke up at 7:17 am and cooked 2 eggs scrambled and 1 piece of toast with a tsp of butter and a cup of coffee with splenda! Let me just say I feel awesome!!! What a huge difference it makes eating breakfast. It wasn't some elongated task it was very quick and very easy and shoot I even had time to load the dishwasher! Holy Crap! I never do that. I was at work by 8:45 and I am having a pretty decent day so far. I am in a good mood, my attitude is good, I FEEL GOOD!

I am going to the gym after I get off of work today so at 5:00 I will dominate at Lady of America. I haven't been in about 2 months so I have allot of catching up to do. Then its off the apartment for dog baths and cleaning. There is nothing better than waking up to a clean house and even better is waking up refreshed knowing that you accomplished something you said you were going to! Tomorrow is a half work day so I will have time to do a workout video before breakfast and then go off to work. That makes my stomach jump with excitement. I am so excited for tomorrow morning. I am ready for it to be here lol. How lame does that sound?



Sometimes the things we want in life are the things we have the work the hardest for even if the objective seems insignificant like an A+ or a new hair color. Those things don't happen over night you have to work harder to keep an A+ then you have to get an A+ on a paper. You have to work to get the money to get your hair done because nothing in this world is free. So I have come to grips with me having to work my ass off to become healthier and to be in better shape. I don't want to be the funny fat girl, who in their right mind does. I want to be the "fit" funny girl. My size shouldn't have to determine my role among friends or society. Now don't get me wrong I am sure my friends don't see me that way but I can almost garuntee that someone on the street would say that fat girls funny. Which I am funny but be being overweight shouldn't come into play. With that being said I need to get over the fact that those things are going to be said because, why, I am fat, I am overweight and that is what people do see. People try to sugar coat that shit. Dude seriously they call you a fat ass because you have a fat ass. Its not rocket science. If you don't want to be called a fat ass then figure out a way to get rid of it :) ((((Haaahaaa that is right, that is an elephants ass))))





 I just think that the only way to make this change in life is to be completely honest and that is what I am doing, being honest with myself for once.