I'm just a girl...

*sigh*

Seriously why is it that I haven't had my time?

I see all of these people around me doing their thing and wonder when it will be my turn.

It sounds a bit lame even to me but its still a question I would like an answer to. Like seriously is there something wrong with me?

Why do I only attract OLD ASS people or people I would never effing date or douchbags wtf! It is really irritating.

I don't know, it just pisses me off is all I do know.

People tell me I am smart, beautiful, funny and a great catch but they always fail to mention that underlining remark (you're a fat girl hun) that no one ever wants to admit. Its a bit defeating. Like I am not good enough for anyone. But then again who wants to be with someone who is unhealthy? I never thought I had low self esteem but lately I am thinking maybe I do just a bit.

I haven't dated anyone since August 2009 that is 2 years. Now I have been with people but that isn't something to be proud of. I want a relationship. But then I am like why have one so you can date, fall in love and then have someone rip your heart out like before? Whats the point. Everyones divorced anyway. But I don't like being alone all the time. I am not tagging along with my sister when she goes on her dates that's just fucking sad! I am sick of being a third wheel. I can't get my own date, wtf!?

And I am not dating someone I am not attracted to, I cant do it. People who do that are ridiculous because they're only doing it because they don't want to be alone or they have no self esteem at all or want sex and don't care how they get it. I want someone to be attracted to me and I want to be attracted to them. I am not going to date some crusty ass 40 something year old because he thinks I have a fat ass and because he has a fat wallet, sorry bro you're barking up the wrong tree. Dating is effing ridiculous. It is so time consuming. I don't see how people have the time to date 5 different ppl at one time and frankly its a little fucked up. Find someone give it a shot then move on. You got like 4 different flavors going on how do you know which one really gets after your taste buds you know?!

I don't know maybe I am just being an asshole, or a baby about the entire thing. Who knows? What I do know is that somethings gotta give.